Genesis 16

Genesis 16: the Hagram Affair

I'm not sure there would be anything more emotionally devastating for me than to discover that I couldn't have babies. Knowing myself, I realize full well that I would be so...so absolutely beyond pissed at God. I can't even stand to write down the words I would cry to Him because they're awful. 

Yet, thinking of Abram and the family, she gives her Hagar to sleep with. 

I genuinely cannot imagine resorting to that. It must have torn Sarai up inside. It would have wrecked me. The marriage would be essentially over. 

Why couldn't they have trusted God? God promised that he would make their descendants as numerous as grains of sand. Therefore, it wasn't up to them to take it into their own hands. God will always provide; the whole Hagram affair wasn't even truly necessary. 

As one might expect, this causes a serious rift in the relationship between Sarai and Hagar. Hagar looks down on Sarai; ("haha, you can't have babies!") When Sarai gets extra mean, Hagar runs away. 

I'm reading a book called the Shack, and it's phenomenal. I came across a part last night that reminded me that God will travel any road to get to you. This time, He traveled up the road to Shur to comfort Hagar, who slept with a man not her husband, and to promise her plentiful descendants. 

He's so freaking awesome. 

Hagar's response to God is so gorgeous. "You are the God who sees me." 

The simplicity of that statement sums up God in a glorious way. He sees us - not for what we're trying to be, or what our friends think we are, or for what we aspire to become. He sees us in all of our shattered glory, in all of our thoughts riddled with insecurities and fears that maybe someone might see through the mask we're wearing - and He loves us harder, and better, and with more joy than anyone else ever could. 

Oh, yes. He is the God that sees us.