Friday, September 27, 2013

Genesis 46-47

Genesis 46
I have to imagine that it was terrifying for Jacob, an old man, to pick up and move everything to a place he didn't know. Thus, God sent him the comforting dream at the perfect time. All Gos had to remind Jake to do was to be not afraid, and trus, and Jacob's fears were diminished. I love that. I love that sometimes we're terrified, and that it chills us to our very souls, so we have to lean on God. If I didn't have that occasional scare or poignant sadness, I think I would be a bit more prone to forget about the one who loves me the most. 
Joseph and his daddy have a glorious renuion, with weeping and hugging and loving words. 
God made their lives so happy, and I love to see him do the same in mine. 

Genesis 47
Pharaoh LOVES Joseph. He gives Joe's family the best land, and offers one of them a position in charge of his very own livestock. This is awesome, because Joseph didn't do all that much to get to this favored and cherished position - he only had to trust God with everything, and God made everything fall together. 
This is probably something I struggle with. Despite how much I work to make it otherwise, I have a real insecurity when it comes to people not liking me. So I try to do things to make myself more appealing to them. I'm not talking like doing drugs, or partying super hard. I more mean that I try to say the right things, or conjure the perfect response. People call me a try-hard, which I hate, though I know that it is true. I try so hard to get people's approval. I even struggle with getting respect and love from my friends sometimes. 
I know if I just trusted God with it, everything would be fine. And I try it all the time. It usually works, for up to a day. But then something happens, or I feel lonely, and I have to reach out and try again. 
Joseph didn't have to do anything except be himself, and trust wholly in his creator for Pharaoh to be totally obsessed with him. I know God will do the same for me. I just have to practice the trust part. 
Much of this chapter talks about how the Egyptians paid for their food. After giving away their livestock in exchange for food, they give away their land and selves. 
They enslave themselves, to pay for their empty bellies. The marvelous thing about this, too, is I think it was the best thing to do at the time. What other choice was there? I think they see this, too. Though they're in a place of total servitude, they're simply eternally grateful to Joe to not be hungry. They're excited to have their needs met. 
There's this saying I like: "take joy in the ordinary." A lot of times, this is challenging to do. But in times of strife, it's easier to look around you and find joy in things that are absolutely incredible. Like a little seed, or a plate of food. That's where the joy was, for the slaves. 
When Jake is getting ready to pass away, he and his son do the weird thigh-promise thing. It still makes me uncomfortable. Joe promises to bury his dad where his predecessors were married - in Canaan, also known as the Promised Land. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Genesis 44-45

Genesis 44
Joseph did not choose the opportune moment of the feast to reveal himself, much to my dismay. Instead, he sends them on a trip back home, after deceptively hiding more of his silver in their grain sacks. When they're accused of thievery, they sort of trap themselves: 
"If any of your servants is found to have it, he will die; and the rest of us will become my lord’s slaves.” (Genesis 44:9 NIV)
Whoops. 
Needless to say, Ben has the silver, as it was planted there. When they are returned to Joseph, it is with humble hearts. They had already resigned themselves to a life of servitude. 
When Joseph offers to take only Benjamin in recompense for the silver, Judah does a really really brave thing. 
He tells the truth. 
He talks about how his dad loves Ben, and would die without him, and how if his dad died, so would he, and the whole situation would be a whole domino effect of death. Or something to that measure. 
And then, get this: Judah offers to take Ben's place with as Joe's servant. What an absolutely Jesus-like thing to do.
Props to Judah for being the bravest of the brothers. 

Genesis 45
This is totally off-topic, but I feel compelled to write about it anyway tonight. 
I read a book lately called The Shack, which I totally recommend to anyone with an open mind that wants to see God in a refreshing and unheard-of way. In it, the character that represents God said that we don't have to be like Jesus. 
Wait what? 
Yeah, I know. It took me a long time to process that. I've been dealing with some friend stuff lately, and some crazy big doubts in myself and in the relationships I have with others. A lot of times, I'm plagued by this impossibly high standard "What Would Jesus Do?" 
Guys, Jesus wasn't just a human. I mean He was, but his divinity gave him a grace and strength that we as humans can't have just yet. God isn't asking us to be like Jesus, because we are entirely different than Jesus. He has a plan for us that is all our own. And though it's important to try to live in a Jesus-mindset, God isn't asking us to constantly strive to be something that we simply are not. We're all complex, and though Jesus is in all of us, he is in all of us differently. I mean, I see Jesus in people in ways that are by no means supported by anything biblical. It's just Jesus. 
If you hate that idea, you can disregard it. I just had to get it off my chest, and now I'm going to talk about Joseph and his bros a bit more.

I think emotion is a God thing. So I find it a bit beautiful that Joe sent his attendants away and wept, overwhelmed. Drowning in grace. 
When Joseph sends his identifies himself to his brothers, they don't have at all the reunion I was expecting. They're scared of him. I would be, too! Now that he has this much power, it would be well within Joe's reach to execute them all. Their bullying demeanor of past years is abandoned, and this meek and frightened spirit is showing. 
I love in Joe's monologue that he credits everything to God. It's easy to forget that he literally brings us everything, and it's gorgeous to see Joe praising God even for the mistfortunes he went through. He was able to see the good in his challenges. 
And THEN, they have the little reunion I was looking for. Some hugging and crying, and joy all around. Pharaoh gave the brothers some free stuff, in typical Oprah fashion. Ben gets the favorite brother award for some reason, though I still haven't figured out why. And the brothers get ready to retrieve their dad, and bring him to good ol' Egypt. 
I LOVE VERSE 24. Joe sounds like a concerned mother. 
"Then he sent his brothers away, and as they were leaving he said to them, “Don’t quarrel on the way!” (Genesis 45:24 NIV)
Such a precious young lad. 
When the bros get back to their dad, he doesn't believe them. After a bit of wheedling and convincing, however, he gets it. And they prepare to go reunite with their long-lost Joe. 
I love that. 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Genesis 43

Honestly, it comes as no surprise to me that the brothers were so easily fooled. Think of how we behave with a guilty conscience. 
One time, when I was about 8, my brother and I were sharing the passenger seat in my dad's convertible. A police car pulled up behind us, and my dad, brother, and I simultaneously had a panic attack. Colton and I, at my dad's urging, oozed onto the floor of the car in a puddle of tears, in vain hope that the cop wouldn't see us. My dad, after engaging in a short-lived police chase, pulled over and nearly started hyperventilating. The policeman got out of his SUV, and walked over to our convertible. 
So of course it was no wonder that Joe's brothers were unsuspicious of all the questions Joe asked. They had sold their brother into slavery - their guilty conscience made them susceptible to attacks, and got them into even more trouble. Guilt is the worst. I don't know if there's anything that separates us from God in a more effective way. Well, I'll speak for myself. I feel the farthest from Jesus when I spend any time at all feeling guilty. He didn't die so I could feel bad about the mistakes I make every single day.
Thankfully, Judah swears to take good care of Benjamin on their excursion back to Egypt. He points out again that it's necessary, seeing as their families are starving, and offers to be held accountable. That's admirable. 
So Jacob gives them some bribes to pass along, as well as his good wishes and their baby brother. 
When they get to Egypt, Joe sees them. He gets so excited. (This reminds me of the father in the prodigal son.) Joe tells the steward of the house to prep a meal for his brothers and himself to celebrate at noon. 
Joe's brothers have the same fear I did when the cop walked up to the car window. They assumed they were going to get in trouble for something, whether they did it or not. Their consciences were wrecking them. 
The brothers begin to apologize to Joseph, and offer up their bribes and meek attitudes. Joseph forgives all,and brings out their brother Simeon to them, whom he took captive previously. Joe's mer y doesn't stop there. He has his steward provide for all of their various needs, and all their donkeys' needs. Then, when he finally sees Benjamin, he is moved to tears. Remember, Joe loved his brothers more than anyone on the planet. Even though they broke his heart and sent them away, Joe treated them with a loving kindness that moves me. I want to be like that. 
Lastly, because food is one of my favorite gifts that God has given us, they feast. They bond and laugh and I imagine they drink a touch too much wine. And Joseph's brothers, without even realizing it, realize that they got two brothers back that night. The wounds of the past were mended. 
When the police officer came to the car door, he laughed at the sight of us with a laugh that was beyond familiar to me. Tears streaming from my eyes still, he apologized for scaring us, and smiled at us warmly. 
It was my friend's dad. He wasn't there to give us a ticket, or to take my daddy to jail - he was there to tell us hello, and to make the world a little brighter. 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Genesis 42

I do not believe that we serve a vengeful God. I don't think He's the sort of being that even thinks "I'm going to make sure they are punished, or even have a penance for the wrong they do to others." So when Joseph's brothers were in need of Joe's help, it wasn't God working through a karma of sorts - He was simply using their misfortune of the time to bring them all back together. 
Let that sink in for a moment, because it's a weighty statement.
God
Uses 
Our 
Misfortunes
To 
Bring 
Us 
Back 
Together.
His brothers, who once banded together to stand against Joseph, now banded together in the midst of their hunger to go humbly to ask for food. 
Joseph, though such an incredible instrument of God, is still completely human. I feel that in the way he reacts to his brothers - if he wasn't human, surely he would have the excitement and love of God and embrace them immediately. Instead, Joe's reaction is cold and calculated. He makes a plan, like we so often do, and doesn't get that immediate joy of reuniting with his brothers. 
But ohmygoodness, how the tables are turned.
Do you remember when Joe's brothers put him in a pit, and then sold him to a passerby? Joseph just locked his bros in PRISON, and they didn't even recognize him. God stayed with Joe every step of the way. Even when he didn't realize it, and even when he forgot about it. God was there, walking with hi all the way to the head of Pharaoh's household. 
The guilt Joseph's brothers feel is overwhelming. 
They said to one another, “Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.” (Genesis 42:21 NIV)
They credit all of this trouble as payback for what they did to their brother so many years ago. They take it with a heart full of feeling like they deserve the misfortune and prejudice from Pharoah's employee. But God surely doesn't see it that way. He doesn't look at them with eyes of anger, or even eyes of disappointment. He looks at them with eyes of love, and excitement that they're getting closer to having this burden of guilt off their chests. He saw them like he saw us. 
Beautifully broken. 
When parts of Joe's plan start to come together, the brothers get scared. The silver in their sacks of grain unnerves them. They come home to daddy Jacob and tell him everything that happened in Egypt, hoping for a word of consolation or protection. Their father, however, is angry. Who wouldn't be? That's two sons that the brothers have lost, now. Jacob must have felt like he was seriously struggling, and felt a bit hopeless as well. 
Reuben, the leader, takes some credit. He promises to bring back one of the two brothers he lost. 
And he ends up getting more than he bargained for. 

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Genesis 40-41

Genesis 40
Most people don't know this about me, but I'm obsessed with dreams. I ask my carpool every morning first if they slept well, and second, if they had any dreams. (9 times out of 10, the answer is no, but I imagine they probably just want me to shut up. Still, that 1 time is what keeps me asking.)
I'm convinced that dreams mean something. And this passage totally backs me up. 
Two of the Pharaoh's employees get put in Joe's jail. One is a baker, and one is a cupbearer. If anyone knows what a cupbearer is, feel free to let me know. Anyway, it's Joseph's responsibility to take care of these guys, and to make sure they don't get into any trouble. 
Both guys have a dream on the same night. This is perhaps a God thing in itself, because whenever I ask people, two people never have a dream on the same day. It's kind of lame. 
I often interpret my own dreams - is that normal, or is that a special skill? And why didn't they try to figure it out on their own? Joe, however, interprets their dreams for them. 
The chief cupbearer, after being told his exciting and happy future, promises to remember Joseph when he's back in power. And then the baker proceeds to tell his dream, hoping it might be just as joyful. 
The intensity of Joe's gift here is incredible. The fact that he can say "he will impale your body on a pole" and it would actually happen is so beyond human. It's such an accurate interpretation. 
It makes me a little sad to hear that the cupbearer whose life turns around forgets joseph. 
& RIP Head Baker. 

Genesis 41
Oh goodness. I know I just said this, but I love how God works through dreams. He's working even when we're asleep. 
Cheers to the cupbearer for finally remembering Joseph, who gave him his dream interpretation so long ago. His apology is gorgeous: today I am reminded of my shortcomings. I know he's not talking to God when he said that, but I think I want to incorporate that into my evening prayers. Because I think that's really all God wants to hear, in terms of us apologizing and feeling guilty. Mostly, he wants us to be fulfilled, and spread love. Not beat ourselves up with extraneous apologies. Today, I am reminded of my shortcomings. 
Pharaoh calls for Joe, and I'm sure it was nice to get cleaned up. I mean, can you imagine? Years of prison life washed off with a fresh shave and a change of clothes. Joseph looked like a new man, headed for an interview with the president of Google. 
And yet, he maintains this rare humility when he finally meets Pharaoh. 
“I cannot do it,” Joseph replied to Pharaoh, “but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires.” (Genesis 41:16 NIV)
Joseph could have taken credit for the interpretations. Truly, he could have. He probably would have gotten famous, and become a world-wide dream interpreter. But rather, he glorified the one that gave him the gift of interpretation. 
Joe explains that they're going to have seven years to stuff their faces, and then seven years to work off all the weight. (Seven of feasting, and seven of famine.) In case that wasn't impressive enough, Joseph also takes the oppurtunity to pitch a business plan - an idea to save the country from ambition. This plan must have been God-designed, because how else could he come up with it so quickly? 
I imagine Pharaoh was overwhelmed. I would be. Maybe that's part of the reason he puts Joe in charge of Egypt. Either way, God provided for Joseph here in a gorgeous way. It really shows the dynamic of a true relationship with God; Joseph trusted wholeheartedly that God would take care of him, and God did just that. 
He went from being bullied by his brothers, to essentially leading Egypt. How much more can we do? Joseph's life rocked, and he walked it with God. Guys, I want that. I want to be so in touch with God that I don't worry about things, because I know that I'm being taken care of at every moment. I mean, I know that - I just don't know that I always feel it. It's something I can definitely improve upon. 
Joseph and his wife have a couple babies, because babies are the coolest. 
Then the famine starts. 
People expect it to be horrible, far-reaching, and deadly. But thanks to God, with Joseph as his hands and feet, all of Egypt and the rest of the world are saved from potential destruction. 
So why wouldn't we trust Him? 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Genesis 38-39

Genesis 38
Traveling heightens the senses and evokes the emotions like nothing else can. Perhaps that's why so many people fall in love with someone while they're traveling. That's how I see Judah's situation - he traveled Adullah, and falls in love with one of the natives there. It's really rather romantic. 
Verses 6 & 7 both make me a bit uneasy. In verse 6, Judah finds his son a wife. I guess this is nice and all, and it was what they did back then, but arranged marriages make me really uncomfortable. I don't know why I would expect Judah to go against what the world is doing, as people today struggle with the same challenge. Then, God kills one of Judah's sons. And that I simply can't accept, I know there has to be more to the story than that. 
The next husband in line for Tamar (the arranged wife) is Onan, and he's as excited about having kids with his dead brother's wife as I am about watching paint dry. He doesn't want to have kids with Tamar - who can blame him? He knows the babies wouldn't really be his. Onan would just be filling in for his deceased brother. 
I say all of this to say that he used an old-fashioned contraceptive, and if you want more details, feel free to read verse 9. 
God didn't like this, and I have yet to figure out why. I know the Catholic teaching on contraceptives backward and forward, but I still feel like God had a larger reason for smoting Onan dead. We may just not find it out until we get to heaven. 
Sadly, Judah's wife died also. His heart must have been lonely, since he fancied to take a prostitute while traveling. The prostitute was Tamar, dressed as such to deceive an seduce Judah. I'm not sure why Tamar wanted her father-in-law in that way; it feels a little sick to me. 
I guess one could understand why this passage makes me feel so odd. 
Either way, Judah sleeps with Tamar without realizing that it's her, and then she slips away with the pledges he gave her. 
Judah tries to send her payment, but his friend can't find the prostitute in question. He asks the men of the village where she is, which must have been awkward. Judah's friend returns with this news, which would certainly strike some worry into the average person. (I mean, what if she wasn't really a prostitute?)
3 months later, Judah is told that Tamar is guilty of prostitution and pregnant. 
His response leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth: "Bring her out and have her burned to death." 
Have you ever heard of more of a double standard in your life? It's sickening. Once he finds out that he's the daddy, things seem to cool down. At least he doesn't want to kill her anymore. 
And then she has twins, and I think they're probably pretty precious, though Tamar's labor certainly sounds uncomfortable.

Genesis 39
At risk of sounding like one of those Superchurch pastors, I think God wants us to have satisfying earthly lives. He doesn't wish suffering and poverty for us - our creator wants us to do well, and to go places. So many people say "I'm just waiting on God." This is a good thing, for a time. Sometimes it's the best option to just sit and wait. But sometimes, it's better to work and wait. To serve and wait. To strive and wait. God will make something out of whatever you decide to give Him, but I can't help but say that the more He has to work with, the better off you'll be. 
Joseph did just that. He was suddenly in a very different situation than his life at home, working as a servant for an Egyptian man. God took Joe's role as a servant, and elevated it to Potiphar's attendant. Joseph went from the lowest man on the totem pole, to being in charge of the entire household. This was good for Joe, because it was a comfortable position, and it was good for Potiphar, because he didn't have to worry about a thing. 
I do not say all this to say "give everything to God and you'll prosper." Because I've seen families that have done that, and they haven't prospered money-wise 100% of the time. But they were happier, worried less, had more joy in their hearts, and felt more fulfilled. And that's what God wants for us, way more than he wants our wallets to be fat. 
Potiphar's wife was a lusty little thing. I feel a bit bad for her husband. In all honesty, I picture her as one of the wives that goes after the men that are building the deck while her husband is at the business office. She's just bored, and tired of being the perfect little housewife. And she thinks Potiphar wouldn't notice anyway. 
But when Joe rejects her, her feelings get hurt. That happens to girls a lot, myself included. We feel rejected, and then sulk. It's a real thing. Usually, I would just quit trying if someone rejected me. However, Potiphar's wife doesn't. She finds Joseph utterly charming. So she grabs his cloak, and he runs away from her. 
I do not like Joseph's reaction. It feels so childish to me. The whole situation would have felt way better for me if Joe turned to her and said, "hey, look. You're so gorgeous, and I respect you way too much to take advantage of this opportunity to sleep with you. Plus, Potiphar's heart would be crushed! We can't do that to him. You're an awesome woman, but I just don't think it's a good idea." 
But nah. He runs away, and leaves his cloak in her hand. 
So, like many woman would do, she makes up a story to ruin his reputation. (This would be the part of the movie where the little housewife steals the construction workers' clothes and has them strewn across the bedroom floor.) 
Potiphar is the typical suburban husband, though maybe more mild mannered. Instead of pulling out a shotgun and shooting Joe in the face, he sends him to prison. 
Joseph's life in prison is even more remarkable to me than his life in Potiphar's house. God rewarded Joe for continuing to follow his path, even though the temptation of Potiphar's wife was in his life. Joseph prospers in prison. The warden entrusts all the prisoners to this one blessed prisoner. 
God always works in the most unexpected ways, no matter what we give him to work with. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Genesis 36-37

Genesis 36
Genealogies are not my thing, but you all know this. Because I'm pretty sure genealogies are not anyone's thing. Well, that's not totally true. They're my Uncle Dan's thing. 
In verse 6, it starts to talk about how Esau had to move away from Jake because they both had too many possessions, and it got too crowded. That happens today all the time. We distance ourselves from people that are vital in our lives because we're so busy spending time and energy acquiring extraneous people and things. 
That sucks, in my opinion. Though I know I'm just as guilty of it. 
Shoutout to Anah in verse 24, because that adventurous bloke discovered hot springs in the desert. That must have been a welcome surprise for the family. My family would be pumped to find some hot springs. 
Then there was a line of many kings. 
And to God be the glory. 

Genesis 37
The best analysis of Joseph's story in my mind is the popular musical "Joseph and the Technicolor a Dreamcoat." Here's how the story begins. 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PA1EqovahRw

Everyone knows that playing favorites is not a good idea. Joseph's life is proof of that. His brothers got jealous and it sucked, and they resented him. Even though he was cherished so much by his dad, I'm sure he felt unbearably lonely sometimes simply because his brothers likely didn't talk to him much. 
I see Joe as a little ignorant. He probably thought his brothers would be interested in this dream of his, because it was indeed fascinating, but they saw it as him having pride over them, or thinking he was better. This spoke more of their self-esteem than it does of his. 
When Joseph didn't even think that could be the case, they jumped to that conclusion because they felt it in themselves. The whole "Joseph-is-better-than-us" mindset was self-inflicted. Jacob may have loved Joe more, or he may not have, but it doesn't change the other sons' worth at all. They were all God's favorite. They just didn't get that, in the same way we often don't get it. 
After they reject his first dream, I don't understand why Jacob tells about the second one. Even his dad resents that dream, and though he already favors Jacob, finds the idea that he would "worship" his son ridiculous. 
You know those times when parents urge you to spend time with the family members you get along with the least? I feel like that's what Jacob was doing. "hey, Joe, how about you go bond with your brothers? Some nice man time!" 
That turned out really well. 
However, I am moved at how Joseph seeks them in what seems to be earnest. He wants to spend time with them, to catch up with them, no matter how far he has to go. I don't know if his brothers saw this as overager, but I found their actions toward him heartbreaking. They were probably Joe's world, and they really didn't seem to want him. They made fun of him behind his back, and plotted to kill him. All Joe wanted was for Reuben to wrestle with him, or Levi to teach him how to shepherd the best, or whatever it is boys do. 
I'm proud of Reuben in one sense for stepping up. I see him as sort of the leader of the band of angry brothers, so I'm glad he recognized it when his bros got out of control. He made up a plan so he could save Joe's life, but still appease the other brothers. I like the plan. It's solid, and it's human. It's not huge heroic act like we sometime see, but it's an effort nonetheless, and God uses it. 
God does not use Reuben's effort in the way Reuben expects. 
Jacob is not saved from being taken from them - he's delivered into the hands of a stranger. Reuben is horrified that he even took his eyes off him. The guilt has got to be staggering, though it's less his fault than any of his more bloodthirsty siblings. 
Thinking his brother is as good as dead, Reuben agrees to the plan of Joseph's fake death, for their dad's sake. 
And then, things began to get interesting. 

Monday, September 16, 2013

Genesis 35

I think this chapter served as a major reality check for Jacob. He had all these foreign gods and just general issues he was carrying around with him, and God knew it even better than Jake did. But when Jake realized all these burdens that they were carrying, he didn't want them anymore. 
I do the same thing all the time. I never get how much pressure I put on myself until I try to explain my actions to the people around me. But the reality is, I don't have to do that. God is freedom. He wants to take all of my burdens, my false gods, my issues, and my suffering, and he wants to bury it in the ground, where I'll never have to look at them or think of them again. 
I feel a bit bad for Rebekah, that her nurse died. That would be really sad. It reminds me of Downton Abbey - the relationship between Mary and Anna. 
A nurse is more than a maid - she's a trusted advisor, your best friend, the one that you air out your mind with as they braid your hair and picks out your clothes with you. I imagine losing Deborah must have been really hard indeed. 
This trip changed Jacob, as I've seen, and I think God wanted everyone to know it. That's why he gave him a new name. He just wanted Jake to let go of everything of his past life, in terms of guilt about Esau, amongst other sins. He even wanted him to let go of his name. For our purposes, I will continue to call him Jacob, to avoid confusion. Then, God makes the promise to Jake/Israel that now has been given to Abe, Isaac, and himself. 
And God said to him, “I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will be among your descendants. The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac I also give to you, and I will give this land to your descendants after you.” (Genesis 35:11, 12 NIV)
Rachel passes away. Part of me wonders if with the death of her best friend, her will to live decreased. I don't know. It's just a thought. Either way, she does not have an easy delivery of baby Ben, and dies with the knowledge that she brought Jacob the joy of another son. 
Ben, if I remember correctly, was well-liked. He was mild, whereas some other brothers were a little more feisty. 
Reuben, for example, decides it's a cool idea to try out one of his dad's concubines. Not sure why he'd think that was a great plan, it's a little gross. Jake had 12 sons, and I genuinely cannot imagine the chaos that went on in that household. 
When Isaac died, Esau and Jake buried him together. 
I think that's pretty awesome, after all they've been through, to be able to embrace their brotherhood and properly honor their dad. It's what he would have wanted. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Genesis 33-34

Genesis 33
The emotional depth in this chapter is so awesome. Jacob was terrified of Esau - he looked up and saw this army along with Esau, so he set up this little defense of his own, and humbled himself to the position of a servant for his brother. 
The reunion was nothing like Jacob expected. God had changed Jacob in his time with Laban, but God also worked in the heart of Esau. Esau didn't miss his birthright, or the blessing Jacob had. 
He just missed Jacob. 
And so after they cried for a few moments, and hugged for longer than I'm sure they would like to admit, Jake introduced his family and livestock, presenting much of his flock as a gift to his brother. 
At first, Esau refuses to take it. He already has tons of stuff, what use does he have for more? But Jacob insists, and his brother humbly and begrudgingly accepts. 
I love Jacob's line in verse 10: “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably." (Genesis 33:10 NIV)
For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 
I get this feeling so well. I love to see God in other people - most the time, it's in a kind action they though was unnoticed, or a tweet that made my day, or simply in a really welcoming reception of me. People are the vessel of God, and His light shines through us in the most glorious way. 
Lastly, when Jake and Esau part ways, Jacob's faith is stronger than ever before. Esau offers men as protection and help, and I love Jake's answer. 
“But why do that?” Jacob asked. “Just let me find favor in the eyes of my lord.” (Genesis 33:15 NIV)
And, per usual, Jacob does indeed find favor because of his great faith. 

Genesis 34
When it talks about Dinah going to visit the women of the land, I sort of picture like a soul trip. Eat-Pray-Love sort of thing, where she goes to figure out life and the sort of woman she wants to be. I read Eat Pray Love, I admit. It's my favorite book, actually. It sort of changed my life, even though I read it when I was 13. So the connotation for this sort of trip for Dinah was exciting for me- like "wow, she's going to have such a great time of growth!" 
But no. Shechem raped her. 
Rape is probably my least favorite sin. Honestly, it's harder for me to accept than even murder. It turns my stomach in a really powerful way. Verse 3 I can't help but feel is incorrect: 
"His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob; he loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her." (Genesis 34:3 NIV)
Here's an idea. Then maybe you shouldn't have raped her. Rape in no way ever resembles love to me. Ever. 
I have a dad and a brother, and I know how they would react if I got raped. It would be exactly the way Dinah's family reacted. My dad and brother are two of the most awesome, God-fearing people I know, but they would burn with anger. Anyone would. If one of my friends was raped, I can't imagine what I'd do. It's horrific. 
Can you imagine, then, the rapist appealing to the family for the rapee? He wants to keep her now. What an absolute nightmare. 
So Jacob and Sons act on their humanity, as many of us would. They say all the men in their area have to be circumcised. 
This is a tiny bit righteous to me, though I definitely shouldn't see it as such. 
So all the guys in town get the little surgery and are in pain for days because Shechem just had to have this girl. And while they're all nursing their wounds, Jake's son go through town and slaughter all the guys. And they take the women and livestock as loot. 
That's for our sister. 
I could go on a whole little tangent about how taking the women of the unsuspecting city is just as morbid as what Shechem did to Dinah, but I'll save it. You get the point. 
Jacob, surprisingly, isn't too pleased with their actions. 
"Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me obnoxious to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.” (Genesis 34:30 NIV)
Oh, man. But Levi and Simeon have a gorgeous response, and they feel totally justified. 
But they replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?” (Genesis 34:31 NIV)

Friday, September 13, 2013

Genesis 31-32

Genesis 31
God understands exactly what we need, even before we do. He understood that Jacob's living situation was growing less comfortable due to his success, and so he gave Jacob a direct and reassuring command: 
Go home. 
This happens so often in the real world that we sometimes fail to notice it. When people remain in God, he takes care of everything. Though life isn't about worldly success, God has a tendency to bring success to those that trust him. 
And oftentimes, this success makes other people uncomfortable, for whatever reasons. I can think of a few off the top of my head, none of which are very happy ways of living. But when other people get this attitude of awkwardness, God wants to remind us that He will be with us. He's not going to let anything touch us, and his love more than makes up for anyone else's resentment. 
I love that God communicates through dreams. 
Jacob and his family escaped, which feels like a somewhat shady thing to do. I don't exactly understand why they didn't like talk to Laban, or at least leave a note. And Rachel stole things too, which looks less than innocent. 
It's pretty hilarious that it took Laban three stinking days to find out that his son-in-la left. You'd think he would notice before then. 
As previously mentioned, I love how God works through dreams. I love that He isn't limited to one sort of message in dreams. Here, in verse 24, God protects Jacob through one of Laban's dreams. That's seriously awesome. 
It's beautiful too, that Laban told Jacob that he wanted to give him a grand send-off, when Jacob had been feeling so disliked by his wives' father. 
I don't understand what exactly Rachel stole- gods? I thought she believed in THE God- the Creator that paints the sky with water colors and flips the stars on and off at night. But the point is, she stole something, and Jacob was painfully unaware. 
"But if you find anyone who has your gods, that person shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.” Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods." (Genesis 31:32 NIV)
And then Rachel had another grand idea. She hid them by sitting on them, and used the whole "I can't get up, I'm on my period" trick. No kidding, that's in the Bible. 
So Laban searches and find nothing, because Rachel cannot stand, and then Jacob gives this whole angry monologue that's definitely a little unjustified, considering that Rachel was being extra human that day and was lying through her teeth. 
I take Laban's answer pretty much as "whoa whoa whoa! Chill out. Let's just forget about it, alright? Truce?" 
Jacob and Laban essentially make a contract out of rocks, take an oath of peace toward each other, eat, and then have a bros night sleepover. 
Like most boys, they seemed to have a true inability to hold a grudge. I do not possess that quality. 
The next morning, Laban left, letting everyone give him the perfect sendoff, and they all lived happily ever after. 

Genesis 32
Do you ever feel like the angels of God meet you? I don't necessarily mean physically, but do you ever feel a complete sense of togetherness and protection when you appear to be by yourself? I don't know. It probably strikes everyone differently. But that's how it feels to me. 
I have a little brother. Well, he's 15 months littler. Colton is one of my favorite people on planet Earth, but I still know that I've failed him or damaged our relationship more times than I can count. Every time I do, I get super nervous to see him. I offer him money to pay for things, pretty much doing everything in my power to get back on his good side. 
Jacob does that here, too, only with livestock. You must remember that this is the olden days. 
If Colton reacted to my gifts like Esau did, it would probably be a message as short as "we need to talk. Coming to find you." And I would die of anxiety. 
Jacob's fear made him turn to God. That's how He works situations for his purpose. 
Then Jacob sets aside all the gifts - over 340 animals- for his brother, maybe hoping that the animals would put such a huge barrier between his brother and him that they wouldn't have to talk. 
The second half of this chapter isn't something I've read before - Jacob physically and mentally wrestles with God. A man wrestles Jacob, and I think this man is one of the many forms of God. I love the line that says that the man "saw that he cold not overpower him." God doesn't overpower us, either. He's down to wrestle, but what he wants more than anything is a relationship with us, and certainly that doesn't mean one by his force. But even when this man left Jacob, he gave Jake a little pain in his hip as a reminder.
So God gives us little reminders of him throughout the day, even when we're wrestling Him. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Genesis 30

I love the start to this chapter, because it's so absolutely relatable. Girls, including myself, have a tendency to go a little over the top in terms of being dramatic. Rachel is a prime example. 
"Give me children or I'll die!" 
First of all, though they probably didn't know this at the time, they couldn't just say "give me kids" and decide that the physical-ness of it would work out. That last sentence didn't make a lot of sense but you know what I mean. The ability to have babies is out of their control. 
Since they didn't get that, I totally get Rachel's jealousy. She probably thought Jacob was having more kids with Leah because he loved her more. Which is really funny in a way, because its the opposite of true. Jacob loved Rachel so much. 
We do this all the time with Jesus. We spend so much time looking at what other people have that we lose sight of the undeniable fact that we are loved beyond all comprehension. 
I'm not just talking about physical things, either. How often do we think "oh, I wish I had as many friends as that person!" or "if only I packed that great of a lunch for myself today." 
It's such a cliche, but I'm all for counting our blessings. That's part of doing my daily Jesus sightings. (Today, he was everywhere. He filled a car with balloons for one of my friends to be asked to homecoming, and he made my guacamole extra great at lunch. Jesus made me on time to class, and was whispered in compliments to my sock bun, as well as the word "splendid" on the afternoon announcements.)
When we practice seeing him everywhere, we have a tendency to think a bit more about how crazy he is about us. 
I'm sure there's something you can read into the section about all their children and their awesome namesakes, but I didn't. I just got that they're having lots of babies now, and Jacob has more women that he's fertilizing: his wives' servants. 
Rachel and Leah I think act weird about the whole concept of sharing Jacob. The fact that Rachel sold a night with her husband to her sister wife in exchange for some mandrakes is beyond me. 
I don't personally love verse 22, because of the phraseology: "then God remembered Rachel." I don't like this because I know that he never forgets us. We're always on his mind. I think it's more of a word choice sort of thing, though. It's not like a major faith-changing mistake. 
I love that God healed Rachel from whatever infertility thing she had going and gave her a little baby. I cannot imagine her joy. And Rachel responds the way all of us do when she gets this blessing: "Yay God, thank you! Now can I have more?" 
Oh, humanity. We are something else. 
Rachel didn't even have to ask for God's blessings to keep pouring out though. As shown in the rest of this chapter, God made Jake quick as a whip. Jacob helps his family, and devised this complex sheep-breeding plan that I don't know how to explain exactly. 
My Jesus sightings are always a little obscure. By that, I simply mean that I often see Jesus in places the average person wouldn't. And yes, I do see Jesus in a sheep-breeding plan. 

Monday, September 9, 2013

Genesis 28-29

Genesis 28
Isaac's mercy towards Jacob in his blessing is just like God's, in a way. Jacob messed up; he defied his dad, and Isaac got pissed. But even though he was mad, Isaac still wanted his son to prosper and to be happy. I think God feels the same way when we mess up. He doesn't see it as important in the long run. 
...and Esau pretty much decides "well screw it, my dad hates me anyway. Might as well retreat further into the arms of lust and short-term pleasure and get me a couple more wives." This, though it sounds like an awful idea when spelled out like that, is not a dead concept. All the time, people decide, "I messed up once today, might as well go all out with and enjoy it while I can." This is not a good idea. 
I repeat: this is not a good idea. 
I think God would so much rather see us work past our mistakes, and keep trying, then to simply get discouraged and give up so soon. He has way too much hope in us for that. 
I'm amazed that Jacob felt safe to lay on the ground with a rock instead of a pillow. I mean, I get that it was pretty much his only option, but it's so vastly different than the way things are now. 
One of the cool things that God has done so far in Abe's family line is that he doesn't require them to trust on faith alone. He reaffirms them, if they even has the tiniest bit of faith. He gave Jacob a dream, helping him to trust God's promise more totally. 
And I think he does the same for us; he helps us trust him. 

Genesis 29
All the talk of wells and sheep in the first few verses makes me think of the metaphor of Jesus being the well of life, and the sheep representing us. It's interesting to read it from that perspective. 
Rachel shows up in verse 8, and something unusual about her struck me immediately. She was a shepherd. I don't know if this was a common occurrence back then, but I can't imagine that it was. Being a shepherd was a dirty, smelly, foul job. And this lovely woman was the one left to do it. Rachel was not a woman that followed the crowd, but one that got the job done, gross as it may be. 
I love the way even extended families acted back then. Jacob probably didn't know Laban or Rachel personally, and yet the meeting says full of weeping and kisses and excitement. It would be awesome if I was that pumped to see my family. To have that much enthusiasm about anything would be incredible, honestly. 
Of the two daughters, I think of myself more like Leah, because I can't see at all. I wear glasses or contacts constantly, so I like Leah had weak eyes. I feel really bad for my homegirl, because I wouldn't want to be remembered in the Bible as the one with weak eyes that Jake didn't really want. It's not that fun of a title. 
Jacob is such a noble man. He volunteers seven years of service for this woman. Myself, and most men, would aim low, hoping to get a negotiation going. But Jacob immediately goes to this ridiculous length of time. 
Verse 20 is precious. "So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." (Genesis 29:20 NIV)
Such a glorious God-love. Admittedly, verse 21 kind of dulls the previous verse, but you can go look that one up on your own. 
Now listen. Laban deceives Jacob. But I have to ask, how did Jacob not understand this until the next morning? Obviously, I have no idea how a wedding during that time worked. But I feel like there are plenty of opportunities where he could have recognized that this was not the girl he worked for. 
For seven years. 
That's tough. 
Either way, Jake gets his Rachel, also, and I'm left feeling distinctly bad for my four-eyed friend. 
But I love what God does for Leah, because it would make me feel better too. She has lots of babies. It kind of warms my heart to think that God gave her this comfort since the comfort of her husband was so foreign to her. 
Leah had the first 3 babies for Jacob. She just wanted him to love her, which is far too common today. However, her fourth she had distinctly for God. Finally, she recognized that these precious little gifts came from him. 
And she realized that her God was bigger than her problem. 


Saturday, September 7, 2013

Genesis 26-27

Genesis 26
I'm really glad we don't have to worry about famine on a day-to-day basis. I know tons of countries do, but the fact that my family doesn't have to migrate to find food is a great blessing. 
I love that God was straightforward with Isaac. He pretty much said "stay here." I think that quite often, I forget that God has a capacity to be really simple. He'll advise me, if I ask Him too. He has a direction for my life, and he doesn't want me to stumble alone in the dark (not that he would ever even let me out of his sight.) 
What is up with these men referring to their wives as their sisters? It feels so weak to me. Like, stand up for yourself, man! Don't just use your wife as a protective blanket. Be proud of her. I don't know, that's probably not the best attitude to have about it. But if I'm being honest, that's how I feel. 
I mean, Isaac was honestly kind of stupid about it, too. He was "caressing" her in public. He could have thought that one out a little bit better. However, God used Isaac's mistake to His advantage, and provides a way for Isaac and Rebekah to be protected, with Abimelek's help. 
And then he rakes it in. In the next year, everything went right for Isaac. He had more money than he knew what to do with, and enough livestock and employees that he never had to lift a finger. I think sometimes we get way too comfy, and that may or may not have happened to Isaac. You see, when we get too comfy, we forget to rely on God, and in turn, forget where our blessings come from. Either way, the pot was stirred, and Isaac's comfort somewhat lessened. He got kicked out of the land, and made like Abraham and camped out in the Valley of Gerar. 
If you're curious, I picture Isaac in an eno, just like his dad had been. 
I use a lot of metaphors. While reading this, my mind adopted the metaphor that the wells are like various relationships in life. Sometimes, we approach a relationship, and it looks like it would be clean and lovely and fulfilling, and it just doesn't work out. Then, after leaving that relationship, we find another. It too, looks lovely and good, but that one doesn't work out either. Does that mean we should stop trying to make friends, or close ourselves off to potential relationships? No. 
Keep trying. Isaac did, and he dug a well that nobody took from him, and that helped him to flourish. 
And then Abimelek came back. I find that so beyond awesome. This ruler that sent Isaac away from his own home hunts him down just to make a treaty with him, because he saw the power of God in his life. They eat together and drink together, the mutual respect restored. The next morning, they swear their oath, and Abimelek leaves in peace. 
Just as Isaac and Abimelek's relationship is restored, so a new well is discovered. Let the metaphor sink in there for a sec, because I'm in awe of it. 
I had to read verses 34 and 35 a few times to figure out what the problem was, but I finally got it: Esau had two wives. 

Genesis 27
Jacob and Rebekah aren't exactly the most upstanding citizens of the Bible. Not only did Jake take his brother's birthright with a bowl of soup, but in this chapter, his mom gets him to also deceive Isaac and get the blessing. 
I think that one of the funniest bits of all this is that they had to glue some hair onto Jacob's body to convince Isaac. When I think of Esau, I think of two words: jipped, and hairy
I don't like that Jacob builds God into his lie, when he says that God gave him success hunting. But I think too of how often we do the same thing. I say that I follow Jesus, and I do - to the best of my ability. However, my actions don't always glorify him; I fail to trust him, and sometimes I put other things before him. How is that so different from what Jacob does here? 
Admittedly, I don't really get how the whole "blessings" thing works. Like, why couldn't Esau just get the same basic blessing as his deceitful brother? Esau's blessing was something of a bitter pill to swallow; I would probably hold a grudge against Jacob, too, if I was him. 
Even though Jacob lied, God never abandoned him. He made sure that through Rebekah, Jacob found out about Esau's murder plot and was able to escape. 
I love the way that God works. You'll never see it coming. 

Genesis 25

Genesis 25
One of my favorite things that I'm learning in the Bible (and in life) is that everyone has a character flaw. I love this, because I know that I myself am less than perfect, and it makes all these stories much more relatable. 
One of Abe's character flaws that hasn't been mentioned up to this point is the fact that he has a few concubines. 
concubine: n. woman who cohabits with man to whom she isnot legally married, especially one regarded associally or sexually subservient; mistress.
It never registered with me before now that Abraham had this little carnal side of him, as well all do. But the coolest part of all this (and I'm OBSESSED with this idea) is that God used it to make his promises come true. 
Let me say that again. 
God used Abe's overwhelmingly humanness to fulfill his promise of great nations to him. 
"Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people." (Genesis 25:8 NIV)
God loved Abraham so much. In fact, he loves Abraham just as much as he loves every single one of us. 
YAY MORE GENEALOGY I'M NOT GOING TO BLOG ABOUT. 
I have two baby twin cousins, and every time I see them, I remember what life is about. They flipped my world upside down. So when I read about the two little infants in Rebekah's belly, I can't help but get a little overexcited. It's also an awesome testament to the way that God provides for us. She was childless, and they wanted a kid. So Jacob prayed, and God gave them two. 
Jacob and Esau is a really funny story to me. Perhaps the funniest part is how well I relate to both Jacob and to Esau. I'll get into that a bit more in a minute. 
Isaac and Rebekah's character flaw in this chapter is the fact that they do indeed fall into the parental trap of playing favorites with their children. This is never a good idea, but I know so many parents who do it. I don't point it out to look down on them by any means, but to remind myself that these people of awesome faith are just like me. 
As I said, I have bits of me just like Jacob, and just like Esau. There are times when I, like Esau, love being outside. Most the time, this is in "forest-y" areas, or while on an ATV. I have a huge capacity to see God in the exact shade of green in the leaves of the trees. 

But like Jacob, I tend to lean toward being the ideal housewife. I cook and clean and fold laundry and love babies. I sort of fit the mold, which I've spent so much of my life trying not to do, but I can't help it. In embracing that that's just sort of who I am, I get great joy out of those little tasks, and of course those little humans. 
I'm also like Esau in the sense that yeah, I'd probably sell my birthright for a bowl of food. If I was hungry enough. I realize that this is a really stupid thing to do. You must understand though, that I love food. I think, if I'm ever accidentally putting something before Jesus in my life, it's probably food. 
That's how much I love it. It's seriously awesome. 
And this bowl of stew must have been pretty delicious - I do imagine Jacob was somewhat of a well-established chef, since its all he does all day. 
I'm like Jacob in the sense that unfortunately, I sometimes have a way of manipulating people to get what I want. I recognize that this is not a good characteristic, so I've been working on doing it less. And I'm not generally very manipulative. However, there are a handful of times in my life that I have behaved in this manner, and I am less than proud of them. 
Then I'm like Esau again because I too exaggerate on a day-to-day basis. 
“Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” (Genesis 25:32 NIV)
HAHA OH ESAU. I don't know. Some people argue that he was being serious, but I find this highly unlikely. How often do we say "I'm starving" when it's only been three hours since our last meal? I do it every single day, probably before each meal. I know, how painfully human of me. 
How beautiful it is that God uses our humanness to his advantage. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Genesis 23-24

Genesis 23
Death really sucks. I've lost a ton of grandparents and family friends, and every time I go to a funeral I'm reminded of the beauty of life, but also the sadness that comes with death. 
Abraham had two people in his life that were close to them. One of them, Isaac, he was asked to sacrifice. Fortunately, God intervened. The other, his wife that protected and stayed with him amidst all the travel, passed away. 
That must have been devastating. Sarah and Abraham went through so much together - nobody else in Abraham's life had seen God work like Sarah had. Their names were changed together, descendants were promised to them together, and a son was born to them together when they thought that a son would never come. 
So Abraham wants to honor his precious wife with a burial place suited for the best. 
The Hittites love him, so this is no hard task. The hardest bit of the whole thing was getting them to let him pay for it. 
I'm seriously impressed with the generosity of the Hittites here. To offer whole plots of land - free of charge. I want to be this kind of generous in my own life. 
I'm also thoroughly impressed with Abraham's insistence to pay them for their land. I think that's admirable, and I love that he doesn't take advantage of them. 
I think Sarah would definitely be proud of the whole thing. 

Genesis 24
"...and The Lord had blessed him in every way." What a brilliant opener for a chapter. 
I think we too are blessed in every way as much, if not more, than even Abraham was! I think the the key difference between our lives and Abe's is the shift in perspective. Abraham's life itself he considered a blessing. Unfortunately,  I myself spend more time thinking of what I need, than I do remembering how absolutely beyond blessed I am. 
In an effort to work on this, I'm going to begin recording Jesus sightings. These are little rays of light I see throughout my day - I'm not going to wait to write them down, but rather, am going to record them as I see them. I cannot wait to begin, because I already know Jesus is everywhere, but to keep him in mind as I see him throughout the day should be a brilliant shift in perspective for me. 
Perspective talk aside, can we discuss how awkward making an oath must have been in that time? I totally get that the "hand beneath thigh" is an act of vulnerability and stuff, and that's awesome, but seriously it makes me feel weird. I'm all set with my pinky promise. 
I love Abraham's view on morals, too. "If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” (Genesis 24:8 NIV). He leads us by example; I take it sort of as Abraham's way of saying, "don't settle for just any woman. God has set aside the right one for my son, and if she doesn't fit the bill, then he didn't intend for it to be anyway." 
That's a bit of an ambitious standard to hold us to, but an inspiring one nonetheless. 
God gets that we sometimes need signs. The servant of Abe did, as seen in his prayer in verse 14. Note that God gave him his sign. I love this little proverb I learned lately about our glorious creator: "just ask Him. He'll tell you." 
Let me also point out how quickly God answered his prayer. I mean, he hadn't even finished praying before this woman walked up. And she absolutely fit the bill. 
God worked so much in this servant's favor. First, he made the mission get accomplished fast. Then, he provided a place for the servant to stay, through Rebekah's family. In addition to all this, the servant got the bonus of sharing the love of God with these strangers. And they received it joyfully. 
Lastly, I want to think about the character of Rebekah. Her faith, too, was incredible. She trusted God to guide and protect her, though she was about to journey with a strange man who came to deliver her to her stranger husband. 
Once Rebekah met Isaac, they got married. I love the last little thought at the end of the last verse: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. The fact that Rebekah, who was a stranger to Isaac, was able to bring his heart that much joy after the death of his mama, is gorgeous. I want to do that for people. 
Rebekah is awesome. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Genesis 22

This has always been one of the most jarring stories in the Bible for me. God asks Abraham to take his precious little son, and sacrifice him on a mountain. 
Holy Toledo. And I sometimes feel like God asks a lot of me. 
I don't know Abraham personally, but I like to imagine that this was not an easy decision for him. If he's anything like me at all, he looked up at the endless blue sky and had a fierce mental battle. Heck, I like to think that he cried a little at the concept that he was going to kill his little boy. 
I get what everyone says about this story. "God wanted to remind us that everything on earth is temporary, and that the first priority in our lives should be pleasing Him." 
That little rant always gets me really mad. I wish I could tell you why for sure - but I think the reason is that I feel like it's completely not what God is about. We are God's babies. He knows exactly how fond parents are of their children, and I really think He gets it even more than we do when parents accidentally put their kids before their Lord. 
The core theme that I take from this is that he will always always always, without fail, deliver us. Even when it's just about to look like He won't. 
Here's how I arrive there: Abraham is about to do this thing that would probably keep him in distress for the rest of his life. Yet, it's also the right thing to do, seeing as it is God's command. He had two options:

1. Kill Isaac and please God. 
2. Save Isaac and be separated from God. 

Neither of those look like solid options to me. How often in life do we look at our options and feel like both of them suck? I often find myself trying to discern the lesser of two evils. 
In Abe's situation, as well as in our own, God can give us a third, beautiful option - one we may not have even realized existed. And all we even have to do is trust God. Like Abraham, we can trust that He's going to give us a way out. 
Guys, I am so bad at this. For whatever humanly reason, I fail time and time again to trust God fully. It's a problem. I always wonder whether I'm really going to be taken care of in every situation. I find myself thinking awful things, like "does God care that I feel lonely right now?" and even simply negativity like "this school year is not that good so far." 
Abraham was about to murder his son, and he stayed calm and trusted God. God delivered him from this huge burden - He can do the same for me, and absolutely the same for you. 

Monday, September 2, 2013

Genesis 21

Genesis 21 
I love babies. So I absolutely delight over the entire story of Abraham and Sarah having Isaac, after going their whole life thinking that sort of miracle was impossible. I love, too, that God directed them to name their son after the word laughter. God has such an affinity for laughter - there is nothing I see more sign of Him in than bubbling, free, uncontrollable laughter. 
Abraham and Sarah are the typical parents; they throw a party for Isaac, and get defensive when he's being teased by his half-brother. They're doting, and full of love for their precious child. This completely parallels God's love for us, except for that God's love is more perfect. 
I get the feeling that God really wants me to believe that He'll always provide. It is a universal truth, seen here again with Hagar in the desert. Just when she runs out of hope, and has essentially an emotional breakdown, her creator wipes away her tears and opens her eyes to something that she missed - a well of water, that may as well symbolize a well of life. Without the well, Hagar and Ishmael surely would have died of dehydration. But God was taking care of them. 
And God keeps taking care of them throughout their life in the wilderness. 
One of my biggest concerns about this new school year is friends. It always is. Every year, I have a fair 
amount of anxiety over this ridiculous idea that "what if I don't really have friends?" This idea is preposterous. I have been blessed with amazing friends, and I can't imagine having any with more beautiful souls. I love them to death. However, I'm reminded in this passage today that God will make us friends, too. 
That king guy- Abimelech- saw the light of God in Abraham. Because of this light, Abimelech wanted to make an oath with Abraham. They promise to treat each other well, and thus: a friendship was born. 
Abraham gives his friend a generous gift of seven sheep, and he gets to keep the well, and he has a new friend in his corner. 
I love that Abraham celebrated this connection through worshipping God. So many times, I fail to recognize the blessings that God is working in my life. 
And I'm eternally grateful for my marvelous friends. 

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Genesis 19-20

Genesis 19
Now begins the list of things I have problems with in Genesis 19, for there are many. Prepare yourselves. 
Every man in the village surrounded Lot's house and begged him to send out the angels so that they could have sex with them. I mean, seriously. 
The part that disturbs me about this isn't the whole "homosexuality" part at all. The part that messes me up is how freaking desperate these men were. I never understood how completely despicable and hopeless Sodom and Gomorrah were until I read this today. If you're having trouble grasping this, let me spell it out for you. 
You're chilling in your eno outside your hut when you see some friendly-looking men walk past. You urge them to come in and eat with you and your family, and after much pleading, they reluctantly agree to share a meal with you. You prepare and eat the food, making friends with these angels, and begin to hear a pounding outside your house. Embarrassed, you get up and open the door, expecting to perhaps shoo some obnoxious kids away to play somewhere else. However, it is instead a massive group of males. In fact, it's your friends and people you recognize from town. All of them. As if the noise isn't disruptive enough, they start screaming at you to release your guests to them to have their way with. They're not asking quietly, but their voices grow continually louder until there's no doubt in your mind that the men inside can hear every word. 
That sucks for Lot. I mean, that's seriously embarrassing. A gorgeous dinner, wrecked by lust. 
His response bothers me even more than this whole situation though. 
He offers his daughters. Seriously? We as people look with respect at this man that did something I find totally unforgivable. He tells the men of the village that they can just take his daughters. I have never in my life heard something that disgusts me more than that. Parents are supposed to protect and defend their babies, not offer their virgin daughters as playthings for a village of men. 
God has so much more mercy than I do. He's seriously incredible. 
The angels at this point have seen enough. They step in, grab Lot, strike the desperate men blind, and save the day. 
The Message phrases a part of this beautifully. "The outcries of victims here to God are deafening; we’ve been sent to blast this place into oblivion.” (Genesis 19:13 MSG)
I love the use of the word "victim" in this translation. God didn't hate the people of Sodom and Gomorrah; he simply took pity on them. He saw that they weren't getting it, and that their lives were not fulfilling. He was saving them from Hell on earth. 
Lot is saved, and his wife and daughters. Well, his wife is turned to salt, which I suppose is at least a little better than what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah. 
Lot ends up where the angels told him to go in the first place: a cave. I'm reminded of the song "The Truth is a Cave" by the Oh Hellos, as well as the song "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons. Miracles happen in caves. 
But in this cave, the horror that is Genesis 19 continues when not one but both daughters sleep with their dad and become pregnant through him. 
I really can't imagine what's worse: would it be getting gang-raped earlier in the chapter, or turning to your father to impregnate yourself?
I can't imagine.

Genesis 20
I still fail to understand how Abraham using his wife for safety and loot is a righteous thing to do, but God didn't seem to have an issue with it, and he does know best. 
I like the ending of this story better than the one that occurs earlier in Genesis: The Lord comes to the king guy and stops him from sinning with Sarah. Then, he gives Abraham a ton of stuff, as well as his wife back. 
God provided for Abraham like crazy. I mean, He had men giving Abraham so much stuff that he didn't have to worry about anything. I'm certain that He wants to do the same for us. He knows what we need, and has ways to take care of our every concern. We just have to let Him infiltrate our lives, and they will be better than ever. 
This chapter, I also received the significant shock that Sarah actually is Abraham's half-sister. That's something. 
Lastly, I think the way God healed the king and his family is awesome. Getting their ability to have babies back must have been more exciting than I can fathom. I love the way that God works miracles in the lives of those who let Him.